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Pee in a trough, no privacy
Got stage fright when I'm trying to pee
Then some guy's trying to talk to me
I can't concentrate, can't you see?

And that short fat dude's gotta bigger dick than I do
And that tall skinny dude's gotta bigger dick than I do
Don't look at them, they'll think you're gay
Just wash your hands, there's nothing to say

(Where are my underwear?  Why do they stop and stare?)

Girls get stalls with doors on them
And their walls don't drip with phlegm
But that short fat dude's gotta bigger dick than I do
And that tall skinny dude's gotta bigger dick than I do

(Where are my underwear?  Why do they stop and stare?)

I hate the men's locker room!
I hate the men's locker room!
I hate the men's locker room!
I hate the men's locker room!